They Told Me I Am a Woman

They said I can do anything.

Who “they” are, I don’t know.

But I suppose they were right.

I’ve not yet tried something I couldn’t do. I am completely confident that with sufficient time and persistence, I could do anything.  

I don’t think that’s vain. After all, I didn’t say it would be easy. I just said I could do it. Eventually.

So they were right. I can do anything.

But they were wrong, too.

See, they also said that “can” means “should” and “anything” means “everything.”

They said I can do anything, but what I heard, what I’ve recently realized I believe, is:

  I should do everything.

I can’t be the only one who heard that. Right?

Given our societies obsession with feminism, women’s lib, girl power, and strong female characters, how could we not? How could we not feel pressure to do everything and do it perfectly? Because we can. Because we should.

I’m a stay at home mom, but I feel like I should also provide a supplementary income in some creative way that takes absolutely no time away from my son. I feel like I should be a handyman, able to fix every problem around the house myself. I should handle car problems. I should have an amazing meal prepared at the same time every night. I should pre-pack aesthetically

pleasing and healthy lunches for my husband and son. I should get plenty of exercise every day. I should make sure my husband, son and dog get plenty of exercise every day.

I should host fabulous parties with all of my friends, where everything is homemade and the table is laid out with expensive dishes and centerpieces. I should have lots of friends in the first place. I should host play groups. I should spend hours reading to my son and teach him the ABC’s now that he’s almost two. (Because we’re so so behind on Kindergarten prep.)  

I should have an entire summer of fun, age appropriate “sensory” activities (whatever that means) planned for my son. I should spend hours on crafts for our five-minute family home evening lesson, because everyone knows you can’t learn anything by simply reading scriptures together.

I should be happy all the time, but my gosh! I’m exhausted just typing all of the things I should be doing. It makes me crazy just to think about it all. And I haven’t listed a small fraction of the things floating around in my head that belong on that list.

I’m sure you have your own, very long list. I don’t know if you’re a working mom, a single mom, or if you have any kids at all, but I know you have a list.

And ladies, I truly think that we can do everything. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think so. Whether we should is another question—one that I don’t have an answer to.

But should or should not, here is my confession: I don’t want to.

There. I said it. I don’t want to. I don’t want to work to supplement our income, or fix cars, or so many other things on the list that’s been imprisoning me.

There are so many things I don’t want to do, but there are just as many that I do.

I love cooking for my family. I love reading with my son. I love spending hours on a craft for our five-minute lesson. But when I try to do everything, I end up not loving any of it.

I want to love being a mom. I want to love being a wife. I want to love being a homemaker. So I’m going to let myself love it. I’m going to joyfully fulfill those responsibilities that I choose to take on. I’m going to let my husband fulfill the responsibilities he’s chosen to take on, and we’re going to let go of the ones that aren't that important to us.

Because I’m a woman, and I can do that too.




Do you think you should do everything? What things will you let go of?